Vampire Diaries: The Return

Since comparing the Vampire Diaries books to the TV show has become pointless, I have no easy method to disguise my thoughts on them. So, I must bite the bullet and give a straight opinion of the books, in and of themselves. It may not be pretty.

The second series of The Vampire Diaries books, called The Return because there is no lazy cliche to which L. J. Smith will not stoop, is comprised of the novels Nightfall, Shadow Souls, and Midnight. They are none of them very good.

To Smith's credit, she has opted to widen the setting of these books considerably, fleshing out the history and deepening the mythology of her fictional world, when it must have been oh so very tempting to churn out more of the same. Parallel worlds, heavenly 'police', an order of vampire hunters, vicious animal spirits... there is an awful lot going on here, that in the hands of a decent writer could have produced something a bit good. Sadly, in the decades since the first series Smith has not a better writer become. All the annoying little tics that blemished her earlier works are still present and correct, not least the ridiculous need to stop the plot every few pages so the girls can debate the relative 'hotness' of various characters and of course her insistence on using terms no self respecting human would ever utter in real conversation. We know that Meredith and Alaric are 'engaged to be engaged' because characters use that very phrase EVERY SINGLE TIME the couple are mentioned.

"Did you hear about thingy and wotsit?"

"No, what about them?"

"Oh, they're engaged to be engaged! It's ever so romantic."

"Engaged to be engaged, you say? That's ever such big news!"

"I know! Engaged to be engaged!"

You think I'm mocking. There are numerous conversations, exactly as banal as that, throughout these books. It's annoying as hell.

Terrible writing aside though, there is actually a lot to like in the story. Certainly, if the TV show writers were looking for new villains to displace the increasingly tired Originals they could do a lot worse than check out the Kitsune demons seen here. Petty and spiteful their motives may seem at first glance but that doesn't stop the effects of their actions from being truly horrific in places. Indeed, some of the acts of self-mutilation they inspire in those they influence are nothing short of disgusting. Make no mistake, there is some really nasty stuff in here.

Of course, tradition dictates that the story must end on a pathetic cop-out, and sure enough Smith doesn't disappoint. The out of nowhere resurrection of Elena at the end of the first series, which occurs without any explanation and essentially renders the drama of the climax meaningless is actually beaten here by the lead characters essentially asking an angel for a do-over and the angel saying yes. So NOTHING BAD THAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST 7! BOOKS MATTERS! It's couched in slightly more complicated terms than that, but the bottom line is, angels fix all the boo-boos. It's an insult, ladies and gentlemen.

So, the story is an improvement over the first, at least until the end, but the writing is as crappy as ever. The question now becomes, how will the third series compare? Smith herself has been fired from the series by the publishers, though you'd never know it from the covers, and a ghost writer is penning them. Can we expect to see an improvement, or will this new pen be even worse, as difficult as that is to conceive? We'll have to wait and see, won't we?

Vampire Diaries. Whats changed? Pt2

So, I waffled, at great length and to no real point, about how the Vampire Diaries of the books differed from the Vampire Diaries of television, over on my TV blog a couple of days ago. It be here Now, because absolutely no-one demanded it it, I'm going to waffle a bit more. Not about the differences in content this time, but rather about the differences in quality.

I could just save us all a lot of time and say that the books are rotten while the show is great. I won't though, because quite aside from the fact that to do so would be irredeemably rude I do actually quite like to waffle on. Hey, no-ones forcing you to read it. (But please do read it.)

In this day and age, it would take the most militant of literary snobs to say that there is not a great deal of original and - more importantly - enjoyable material to be found in the teen (sorry, Young Adult) section of your friendly neighbourhood bookshop or library. (Kids reading this after 2012 can ask their parents what a library is.) Lovers of fantasy are especially well served in this regard, with such series as Lemony Snicket, Skullduggery Pleasant and of course Harry Potter bringing me much pleasure over the years; not to mention Darren Shan for when you're in a more gruesome frame of mind. All of which, coupled with the fact that the show based on them is so good, led me to go into the enterprise of reading the Vampire Diaries books by L. J. Smith with slightly less trepidation than I probably should have done.

I knew going in that I wasn't the target audience for these books. Unfortunately, the target audience which I don't belong to is not that of teenage girls looking for some horror tinged romance. No, it's easily pleased, pseudo-goth hormone factories, all too eager to spew their squee all over anything with the slightest hint of 'brooding bad boy who's also smoking hot' and desperate for reassurance that yes, even if you are a vacuous tart with morals in the gutter and no ambition to rise any higher in life than someones trophy floozy, you too can find true love with a good looking guy willing to overlook your borderline sociopathic character flaws because you're hot and you put out. Because the protagonist (and presumably the audience identification figure) of these novels really is that unpleasant.

Don't get me wrong though, the books aren't without merit. If you forget about the hideous central character - and the horrible writing as Smith desperately tries to convince you that this girl deserves happiness, despite treating all about her like turds on her shoe - then the main storyline that runs through these first 4 novels is actually fairly decent. Not great, mind you, and hardly original, but decent. Decent enough in fact that it formed the spine of the main story arc of the TV show for it's first 2 seasons.

Beyond the central story there are moments. Moments that make you think that there is something deeper here, some much better book trying desperately to claw it's way free. Stefan and Matt, for example; the brief glimpses we get of their friendship feels real, in a way that none of the other relationships do. If only that had translated onto the screen, then maybe the Matt of TV wouldn't have become such an insignificance on the show. There's the casual menace exuded by Klaus, so convinced is he of his superiority. Or the moment when we find out that Damon stood by and allowed a girl to be killed, not because he didn't care, as the others had assumed and accused him of, but because he couldn't save her as no-one had thought to invite him into the house. This side of Damon; the conflicted man who wants to be good but is too proud to admit it and so just lets people assume he's bad; is very much something which the producers of the TV show have run with and it has served to make Damon one of the most intriguing characters on the show.

Moments like these are few and far between though, and the books have just as many that would make any rational man throw them down and run screaming for his sanity to the nearest Terry Pratchett stockist. Most of the these come from the aforementioned horrible lead but we also get the one where said lead dies and within days her best friend is fantasising about her boyfriend. She's grieving of course, but he's just so hot! You have to get your priorities right in this life. Then there is the situation with Meredith and Alaric. The sexual tension leading to full on romance. Between the schoolgirl and her teacher. That is barely remarked upon, and never scathingly. As mentioned in part one, I can recognise the irony of being okay with a schoolgirl having an affair with a guy hundred of years her senior but calling foul with a few years age difference but here's the thing; HE'S HER TEACHER! IT'S A BOOK AIMED AT TEENAGERS! Sorry, and maybe this makes me a prude, but I'm very glad that the Alaric love shifted to Jenna in the show. You have to draw the line somewhere.

The real plus point of these books, and the first time I found myself actively enjoying them, was the build up to the big final confrontation between the 'good guys' and 'Big Bad' Klaus. He's massively outnumbered - even if you count his little understudy Tyler, who is properly a villain in the books, if a naff one - but it never feels like he's the underdog. It's a long held maxim that heroes should never outnumber villains because no matter how bad the bad guy is, ganging up on him doesn't feel fair. This rule is broken here, and to brilliant effect, because a large part of his menace; of what makes him so chilling, is that Klaus knows he's outnumbered, knows he's facing two centuries old vengeance crazed vampires and a very powerful witch, amongst others, and he just doesn't care. He's going to win. That's all there is to it as far as he's concerned. This lot are just flies to be swatted.

Sadly the good work that Smith does in these finishing stages is then thrown away when she chooses to tack on the end one of the most blatant "this makes absolutely no f***ing sense!" cop-out endings I've ever read in my entire life, and I've read a lot of books over the years. A dead character comes back to life and everyone has a dance. This is literally how the book ends. After a big part of the good guys winning was down to this dead person using up the last of her ability to affect this plane, and one last excruciatingly bad romance scene was forced on us, this character seemed pretty much dead and gone for good but apparently not. Smith wants a happy ending so she's back, making a total mockery of the sacrifice made to defeat Klaus. I read it 3 times and I have no clue how she came back but she's back. I actually swore at the book, it was that bad. From what I can gather, there may well be some repercussions from this in the new trilogy but that's no excuse. The new books have come about because of the success of the show. The ending we get here was how the story ended originally. Fixing it 20years later doesn't change what a nonsense it was.

So, the books aren't all bad, but they're bad enough that I feel no qualms about calling them bad books. That Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec and their team have managed to make a show as good as the one they have, with source material as weak as this is, is a real testimony to their skill, talent and hard graft. I may complain from time to time that it is a little too densely plotted but I know that that's just down to the gaps in scheduling caused by being so close behind the US screenings (I don't know how American audiences put up with it, although I understand they get pertinent re-runs during the gaps, to help them remember what's going on).

I hope this hasn't been overly negative. I've tried really hard to get away from the 'these books are rubbish' tone that early drafts had. I hate to slag off anyones work too badly, when they've poured their sweat into it.